January 7, 2023

TROIKA! awww Crapland

I played a game, and it was total Crap

It’s been a while since I have gotten to sit and play a game. When a friend (Spooky) offered to run a quick game of Crapland (PDF through Drivethru, physical can be purchased from many places, but it is in stock as of this post at Spear Witch). I could not be anything but excited. I check with my loved partner and she said go for it!

I finally had the opportunity to play a game of Troika! (from Melsonian Arts Council, ePub from Drivethru, PDF from itch.io, SRD available here) I will be quick to the point here, it was lovely (but really it was crappy). Troika’s beauty comes from the system really getting out of the way and letting the story, referee and players all just go wild in what you are trying to accomplish.

Crapland is a system setting where you have a mixture of That 70s Show, meets Futurama, crossed with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. There are 6 characters to choose from and after rolling randomly the three players (myself included) ended up playing Mel., Tela, and Nope. We are the room mates of a punk group bassist (maybe?) and are trying to track them down. Mel. has the ability to wield a scythe which proves to be useful when approached by a gang of sneaky punks who try to hold us up.


Craziness ensues and this punk fueled setting was a blast. We ended with Tela making some sandwiches (out of wilted greens, our roommates sports drink and an old casserole, yeah its that kind of apartment). We fought a Craptor in the pizza joint/MMA fighting gym, stole 12 dollars in quarters from the jukebox and listened to Celine Dion all the while.

All this to say everything was crappy and the game was full of crap, though I appreciated not actually getting into more detail about any specific crap, just that it was used as a descriptor for pretty much everything. Full Disclaimer at the time of writing this I do not own Crapland, I only have the characters which are free from Hypatias Angst’s itch.io page.

Troika! as a system

Troika! was a delight to play, simple 2d6 system with very few stats to worry about. The use of the luck roll was fun and each character having a special move” that they could use the luck roll for was awesome (this may be a Crapland exclusive rule, but I would venture to say anyone playing Troika! should give each character one of these, it is a nice way to make sure each character feels a little special, but it is still tied to a resource so it doesn’t feel too over powered.

There are only really two rules to remember for making rolls, it there is something you want to do roll 2d6 and compare that to your total (skill + relevant advanced skill) if you rolled less then you win. The better you are at something the easier it is to roll under it, simple enough. If the roll is opposed to someone or something else then you roll opposed. each participant rolls 2d6 and adds their total skill (skill + relevant advanced skill) and whoever rolls higher wins. Simple as that, combat goes pretty quick (if you are using weapons) and damage is based on a table which is conveniently placed at the front of the book’s end pages.

There, just like that, simple, am I right? There are a few more rules to know but if you can keep this in mind then you are pretty much ready to play. There is no big list of skills you need to choose from so the sky is the limit on where you want to take your setting or how you want to describe the characters.

I’d like to say thanks to Spooky for running the game, Drew and Rogue for being my apathetic sandwich making, Nope!” yelling, and partners in crime sidekicks. I cannot wait to get up off the couch and continue trying to finally find our pal Rif.

Derek Bizier, the Halfling Crap Master

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